


The Reason

by nicedynamavin



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Just the beginning though, M/M, Self Harm, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 06:02:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4210752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicedynamavin/pseuds/nicedynamavin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Gavin wants Michael to understand is that he's getting better, and he's the reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Reason

**Author's Note:**

> Song fic based off of The Reason by Hoobstank. (Song lyrics are in bold)

He loved the warm stinging sensation flow through his body, cut after cut. The razor was no foreign object to him. Placement of the body may have been. As he pressed the sharp object against his arm, letting more blood trickle out of the fresh cut, he heard a knock on the door.

"Gav? You in here? We're going out to lunch. Wondering if you wanna join."

**I'm not a perfect person.  
There's many things I wish I didn't do.**

"Yeah I'll be out in a sec." Rushing to clean up his mess, he thought about placing his razor where he always did to hide it from the company. But just thinking about his promise, he walked into a stall and stood over it. Razor placed between his finger as he watched it drip with his blood. He then dropped it and without a second passing, quickly flushed the toilet before his brain realized what he's done. His only razor. Gone. Just like that. Just for him. He took a warm wet cloth and placed it on his cuts, biting his tongue to stop any whimpers. He knew how thin these walls are, and he rather not risk anything. After cleaning a decent amount of blood, he ringed out the cloth and hid where the razor was suppose to be. He zipped up his AH hoodie and proceeded outside, only to come face to face with a disappointed boyfriend.

"Not again, Gav."

**But I continue learning** **  
I never meant to do those things to you**

"I'm trying Michael. It was just a spur of the moment. I promise I'm not sad." "You gotta talk to me babe. Is it stress from work?" "No love, it's nothing." "Is it me? I mean, what I say to you. I know I can go a bit-" "Michael, it's nothing. Let's just go out okay? Gavin walked past Michael, leaving the building before yelling back; "You comin or what? I can't drive." Gavin gave a weak smile. "You promised." Michael muttered to himself.

**And so I have to say before I go**

After a long day, all Gavin wanted to do was lay in bed with Michael and see what's got him so upset. He wouldn't talk to him at lunch. He barely said a word in any of the let's plays. Car rides were awkward and silent. It was now just them, Gavin laying his head on Michael's lap, wrapped in a blanket watching whatever just came out on Netflix. "Why are you so quiet?" Gavin looked up to see Michael, but was only faced with his chin looking dead at the TV. Michael refused to answer because Gavin shouldn't have to ask that question. He remembers the promise they made after they started dating. Gavin was going to try to get better. The self harming, taking one too many sleeping pills. He knew it was going to be hard, but he did promise. Now six months later, no changes have been made. "Michael, I'm sorry about this afternoon. But hey, no pills right?" Gavin laughed at that last part, hoping to get something out of Michael. "But seriously, I am trying. It doesn't seem like it but I am. I don't know what got over me today. I've been clean for two weeks, I swear!"

**That I just want you to know  
I found a reason for me **

"I know Gav. I'm proud." Michael paused the movie. "I just, I'm feeling distant, you know? Like you're changing, but who for? I feel like I have no influence on you anymore, now after six months, all of a sudden you're just, changing. For the better. And I'm happy. But I feel like it's not for me anymore. Or yourself. Is someone threatening you to stop?"

**To change who I use to be  
A reason to start over new **

Gavin looked at his lover. He could see the defeat in his eyes. Gavin knew Michael is the reason he's doing this, why can't he see it? Gavin grabbed his boyfriend's face and pressed his lips onto his. Michael being suddenly shocked at the contact, forgot to kiss back, making Gavin break apart. "Is this not a great way to show you are the reason I wish to get better? You're the reason I flushed my blade today at work. You're the reason I can sleep at night without stupid pills. You're the-" "Oh shut the fuck up." Michael leaned in and this time, kissed back.

**And the reason is you.**


End file.
